Gathering my courage, I bequeath my earth life’s script to my Soul Group companions – a rowdy bunch of the most affectionate, talented, hilarious, fun-loving, punctual, silly, timely, obvious, demure, self-effacing jokesters this side of the veil (or not!) and jump into the birth canal to enter the “stage” of planet earth. I am birthed in amniotic fluid and blood. My red heart beats and flutters and I scream “bloody” murder! We’ve met – the FIELD that I AM and INTENT that I AM – and now it is time to rely solely on the very heart that self-initiated this human body that I now appear to occupy. This heart, this beating organ and this voice of my soul, holds me in its DIVINE matrix of the One. I let it. I rely on Red daily to carry me even as I carry it. We breathe together, dance together, we pump life-giving blood through the thousands of miles of veins and arteries and capillaries that comprise my circulatory system. My heart constantly tells me “I AM,” “I AM ONE,” and I believe it. I know it. At night, when all is quiet, I feel my heart-beat in all of my body – and listen to Red as it courses through my ears. It is mysterious, comforting, steady, subtle, strong, and MINE. We are so intimate. And I do not have to share with anyone in these moments of listening. I AM Rest. The red of Christmastime fills me with mysterious delight. The red of apples and strawberries infuse me with vitality and vigor. Red meat satisfies cravings. The red “wine” of communion brings joy. Red gives me the pride of arriving each month as menses and attuning my body to the rhythms of the moon and the emotional tides of earth. I am connected physically to both the female human animal and the female animal kingdom through these rhythms and natural blood-lettings. At self-appointed times I get to “see” Red in more intense or dramatic ways: a boo-boo on the fore-head (that leaves a nice scar where the third eye or sixth chakra would reside – a bindu!), some synchronous cuts on my thighs from an ice-skating “accident” during a family gathering and several knee surgeries, with, you guessed it, lots of blood! These moments served to part the veil between worlds when it seemed that matter was becoming too “dense” and so my connection to my heart continued to thrive. Less physical activity and more stillness of body led to more books being Red (read). I studied hard and learned to sing from an open heart (or course wearing Red gowns) the Italian opera heroines that seemed to suite my voice in university. Where will Red support me next? I contemplate wearing Red for my wedding day. It feels more honest to cover myself in the color of my heart’s currency on such a momentous day. My children are birthed within their heart’s code of Red and we know intrinsically that we are ONE in both flesh and spirit. Red and blue make violet and the Violet Flame Absolution ritual reminds me that I AM One in All – always and all ways. If water turns to wine and wine into blood, then every time I take a drink or bathe, I am absorbing more of my own heart. I am consuming my Self and we are ever full.
Soundings 