Yesterday my beloved Pet Sam crossed the threshold that appears to separate the visible and invisible.
appearances can be very convincing, can’t they? Yet I feel my beloved pet’s love for me in my heart – moment’s after he passed, I experienced a knowing, a feeling that is more intuitive than rational, that seemed to say “I’m here! I made it to the realm of the One Heart, do you feel me now?”
Why do I consider my cat, feeble and immobile in his last days, my best friend forever? He never spoke a “word” to me in his whole life, and yet we were in constant communication. He arrived in my life at the dawn of a new chapter: I left my home-state of Michigan to live in Cincinnati, where I was a scholarship student in Voice and Opera. I brought with me from Michigan a lot of baggage. Some would say lifetimes of baggage. And I brought a bed and a lamp and a futon. Eventually I would get a television/vcr combo.
Sam, and later his “sister”, Gracie, made his home on that bed in my single bedroom apartment. He warmed the sheets with his love and drooled his affection there, as well. My first lover. He and his sister became my “yes men”. I would merely have to think “ok, nap-time, guys”, and they would be there to be with me.
LIke I said, I brought a lot of baggage with me to Cincinnati. I was wearing a 24 year-old body, yet my emotional life was quite stunted. I chose, per pre-birth agreements, to endure the maze of confusion that comes when one is cut off from one’s own inner source-of well-being and happiness. i saw through a film of lack, loss, agitation, depression, whatever you want to call it. I wanted to experience the beauty in life that I sensed when I opened myself up to my music and lived in its expression. I wanted my music to become my life.
Here enters Sam. He is an adopted cat with black fur and a strong personality. The nursing staff know him by name and intimate that I’m in for a ride. I walk past the cages and a cat sticks out his paw and tries to catch some of my shirt’s fabric: “Here I am! I’m here, don’t you want me?”
Yes, I do, as a matter of fact. He comes home and his food dish and toilet in place, he makes his home on my bed and in my heart. Thus began our work together: Singer and Cat.
More To Come . . .