Why would I want to go deeper than the level of my personality? Why did I begin “poking around the veneer” of this personality so many years ago?
Often times in my life, I have made shifts at the level of personality that have allowed me to function in a smoother way . . . for a while.
The gift of psychotherapy, for me, was giving me a chance to validate the personality I had created. It was purely my creation – in formed by my experiences and intuition and fears and hopes. It is the face I present to the world and the one that I take credit for – for better or for worse. So, much has been invested in when it comes to the level of personality, for me.
And yet, with about 10 years of therapy for use as a reference, I found myself creating patterns in my life that made relating in a satisfying way to myself (and others, subsequently) at an arms length. Psychotherapy advocates emotional intelligence, yet often misses the grand picture question “who or what am I, fundamentally?”
When I began redefining myself, moment by moment, from the perspective of spiritual intelligence, the emotional component followed (follows) suit so much easier! In retrospect, though I value my path deeply exactly how it unfolds, I save so very much time by addressing this spiritual component. By working directly with my blueprint and the intuitive knowledge it contains for me interfacing with apparent physical reality, I get to the heart of every matter. I see and release patterns swiftly, and become one with the absolution I seek.
Though I may procrastinate for reasons that are not always conscious, I know that any craggy edge I find in my personality, any hardened response coming from my inner being, any rickety structure of belief that I may be standing on, have an opportunity to dissolve and resolve themselves when I go to the level of my essential beingness and my reason for being here:
For me, it is to grow in the awareness of love through experience. Or, as my late friend Katherine puts it “For the Love of God.”