Before incarnating on the dense polarity of the earth plane, I decide for purposes of expansion and adventure I want to experience what it is like to feel earthly amnesia and then remember my true nature as essential self. Wonderous spiritual prosperity and expansion are sure from this perspective. I choose the ancestral currents that my body will be born into well. “Perfect,” I think to myself, “these people are strong enough to hold the vibration of forgetting without becoming totally lost. I cannot wait to play the role of daughter and granddaughter to these amazing men and women and to record in my soul’s plane so much love, compassion, absolution, truth, generosity.” I then allow myself the honor of diving into the climates of dense polarity that hold my earth family’s vibrational frequencies.
The archetype of the Savior becomes my ally early on in this pursuit of “forgetting”. I lean deep into the patterns of unconscious entanglement in the belief that giving my power away will ensure that I am rewarded with salvation. I become committed to living through beliefs generated by the mind. Every institution in my life supports this exercise: my family, school, church, social net. I suffer and feel the misery of ignoring my heart. I learn to like suffering and then wearing a mask over my suffering for the approval I receive from all of these institutions. From my Soul’s perspective things are going very well for me. I am learning what it feels like to allow mental concepts to run the show of my life. Right/Wrong, Near/Far, Good/Bad, Up/Down, Cause/Effect. Though I naturally feel interference from my heart’s ability to break through the monotony of mind-control, the overall tenor of life is discomfort. Again, from my souls’ perspective, all is well. But then something happens, my addiction to the Savior archetype turns out to have hidden benefits. It puts my mind’s restlessness on a journey that exposes me to beings that are saving themselves through absolution and self-love. Now my experience has elements of and truth and fearlessness woven in. I begin to see and feel and experience that I have free will choice. This affords me great strength and I move forward in life with gusto embracing both conscious and unconscious aspects. My heart continues to betray the collective consciousness in me by noticing persons whose lives resonate with joy and peace, patience and kindness. I gather strength from their lives and vibrations.
Finally I am strong enough to hold myself through birthing my first child. I am aware of archetypal forces that move through me and I am aware of my heart’s strength and ability to choose. The stage is set. I am ready to look at my mind’s belief in “life as challenge” by becoming deeply imbalanced in the postpartum period following my child’s birth. I am ready to save myself. I find myself alternately choosing between the addiction to my story and the truth of my immortal nature. Many earthly beings and many incorporeal beings gather to support this great unwinding. The momentum of my story is sooo alluring, the benefits so very clear. Yet my ability to focus on my heart is taking on greater and greater dimension. There is no winner or loser and there is no right or wrong in this venture, yet I see and feel the consequences of my focus. The part of me that is knowing I AM ONE sees how those around me suffer, sees how needlessly I struggle and gasp. My Soul learns short hand dictation to keep up with the apparent speed of information and chaos. My child as an information stream is so bright, so focused, so generously glorious and loving that she catalyzes me into transmutation. I remember in spite of my beliefs. I remember because my beliefs are so limiting that contrast is inevitable. “Life as challenge” follows me around a bit – like a lost puppy, and yet it loses its steam, or rather it simply melts away. In this melting I AM revealed and the wisdom and learning garnered propel me into a paradigm of my own choosing: Life as ease, Life as grace, Life as I AM. I AM born again. I remember my essential unity, my Oneness and this connection bridges the body and the spirit into living paradox. All simply is.